mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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