i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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