And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
