just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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