Nicole vs. Life
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
