You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
