i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
