Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
