dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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