New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize