naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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