Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
