it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
