You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
