you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
