Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
