But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
