Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
