Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
