I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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