Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
