"it" just moved
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
