Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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