Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
