The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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