The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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