A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
