Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
