I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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