u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
