I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
