Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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