So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
