my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
