im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
