My hand turned me down
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
