I heard we made out
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
