hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
