Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
