Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
