nut hugger
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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