I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
