I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
