So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
