I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
