Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
