so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
