I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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