My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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