I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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