I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
