He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
